Noah is 3 and a half years old and we are FINALLY making some progress in the potty training area. That's right. My son is still in diapers. Size 7. I would imagine they are about the same size as a pair of Depends, but thankfully we haven't had to check out adult diapers...yet.
I guess we missed that elusive "window of opportunity" around two years of age. In case you are unfamiliar, the "window of opportunity" is (by my definition) a teensy, tiny sliver of time when your child is young enough that they won't defy your potty training attempts, yet old enough to "perform". We don't recall coming upon said window, but I do believe we've encountered stages that merit mentioning.
There was the "This is SO Funny!" stage. During this time Noah thought his ability to see himself go potty was fascinating and astounding, except when we put him on the toilet. Who could blame him, really? Why go potty on a toilet when you can go while eating a snack, playing with toys, or waving to the neighbors from the window? We would then try to chase him down, but it would quickly become a game of tag. He was like our own little indoor sprinkling, puppy dog just marking away his territory. He would squeal with delight and exclaim, "Look at the pee pee, Mama! I want catch it!". And, he tried very hard to catch it in the bathroom, kitchen, and living room, until I guess he got tired of always doing the chasing.
The next stage was the "Afraid of My Body" stage. This was an unsettling stage for the little man. We had many conversations that started with him sitting on the toilet asking "What that?". I have to say, that I think Google and I did a pretty good job figuring out most of his answers too. The most frightening time, came right after we had just discussed what his "privates" were. He was sitting on the potty and I told him to stay put while I went to go get the mail. No longer than a minute later, Noah was screaming, "AHH!! MAMA, COME NOW!!! HE GONE!!!!!!!". When I got to the bathroom, I saw Noah poking and prodding himself crying, "Mama he lost. I can't find him." Don't worry though, we did find him.
Finally, we have reached the stage of progress!! This is the actual "Pee Entering the Toilet" stage and we are VERY excited. This stage began at preschool, where he voluntarily told his teacher he had to go (and actually went!) potty. Knowing this, I decided to ride the wave of enthusiasm and really hit the potty hard, so to speak. He came home from school, and 7 pairs of wet underwear later, the wave was dead. So, we did what we always do, went to Target. While there, Noah suddenly told me he had to go potty! I brought him to the restroom and he went...and went....and went...and went. Once I was certain he had reached the end of that stream I clapped for him, hollered "hooray!" and got down to hug him, but the stream that I thought had ended, had only paused. He turned to return my hug, and I was quickly covered in pee from neck to waist.
My hope is that we are truly in the final stage and my stories will no longer include bodily fluids, but we shall see. Either way, I believe I have learned some valuable lessons that others may never have the opportunity (or need) to learn. Poor them. ;-)
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Noah
*Disclaimer- This will not be a humorous post, but it will be heartfelt. The next post will be very humorous though. Promise.
When was the last time you heard a stranger openly criticize and belittle your child? Or stood beside someone, while waiting in the grocery store line, only to have them point out your child and call him a "spaz"? Maybe, you have heard someone mutter under their breath about "lack of discipline" or "what a brat" as they pass you and your screaming child by? For Tim and myself, these situations are not simply hypothetical questions, but have been the reality during the past few years.
Things started getting really difficult when Noah turned eighteen months. At that time, the simplest of normal day to day tasks took an absurd amount of planning and time. More often than not, the daily chores of keeping him bathed, teeth brushed, nails trimmed, cloths clean, etc. was all that could be accomplished that day. He reacted to certain things, such as a lukewarm tub of water, like it was a boiling cauldron. Merely physically bringing him to the bathroom would set off a screaming, thrashing child that was clearly in some sort of battle for survival.
Around his second birthday, I really started to notice the developmental delays. While other kids his age were chatting away, Noah only grunted, bit, hit and kicked to communicate. He was this overly aggressive, big (for his age) boy, that all of the other kids at the park would run from, in fear. He seemed frustrated and I remember sitting before him, crying and begging him to say the word "no". That was the word that I heard all the other mothers complain about, and I would have given my life to hear him say it. To have some sort of confirmation that things were okay, but they weren't.
Throughout this time, he had had 4 ear infections (each about 3 months apart) that, at the time, we believed had been treated and cured. Though, when he was about two and a half, we realized that these ear infections had never really healed, the medication did nothing, and this little boy had been sitting with fluid stuck in his ears for possibly over a year affecting everything from speech to balance. He friends had tubes put in his ears, allowing him to hear clearly for the first time.
Since then, things have gotten so much better. He talks non-stop, plays with other kids and is one of the happiest children I have ever known. He still has times of trouble, still HATES water, struggles with some sensory issues, has hearing loss and sometimes needs a little extra attention, but overall, he is good.
My whole reason for writing this is to tell you a little more about my beautiful boy and to beg you not to judge other parents or their children, when it comes to behavioral issues you see out in public. You never know what sort of struggles that are going on in the background and your comments have the ability to build them up or break them down. You could send them home in tears and cause unnecessary pain and damage.
Therefore, I urge you to use your words kindly and thoughtfully. One of the most uplifting moments I have had as a parent, was when a stranger complimented me following a particularly difficult haircut. You see, since Noah has had doctors constantly digging in his ears for as long as he is aware of, he has major issues with anyone being near his ears, especially during his hair cut. This particular time, he had to sit on my lap and be held down by four other stylists while a fifth stylist cut his hair. He was terrified, foaming at the mouth, and beginning to dry heave. I did all I could do to reassure him that things were okay and remained completely calm, so he wouldn't get even more upset. This was actually the normal routine for haircuts, except this time a mom came up to me afterwards and told me how amazingly I handled myself. Then the rest of the parents at the salon nodded or vocally agreed and actually applauded me as we left (and not because we were leaving!). I will never forget how those strangers made me feel and thank God often for giving me that moment.
My whole reason for writing this is to tell you a little more about my beautiful boy and to beg you not to judge other parents or their children, when it comes to behavioral issues you see out in public. You never know what sort of struggles that are going on in the background and your comments have the ability to build them up or break them down. You could send them home in tears and cause unnecessary pain.
When was the last time you heard a stranger openly criticize and belittle your child? Or stood beside someone, while waiting in the grocery store line, only to have them point out your child and call him a "spaz"? Maybe, you have heard someone mutter under their breath about "lack of discipline" or "what a brat" as they pass you and your screaming child by? For Tim and myself, these situations are not simply hypothetical questions, but have been the reality during the past few years.
Things started getting really difficult when Noah turned eighteen months. At that time, the simplest of normal day to day tasks took an absurd amount of planning and time. More often than not, the daily chores of keeping him bathed, teeth brushed, nails trimmed, cloths clean, etc. was all that could be accomplished that day. He reacted to certain things, such as a lukewarm tub of water, like it was a boiling cauldron. Merely physically bringing him to the bathroom would set off a screaming, thrashing child that was clearly in some sort of battle for survival.
Around his second birthday, I really started to notice the developmental delays. While other kids his age were chatting away, Noah only grunted, bit, hit and kicked to communicate. He was this overly aggressive, big (for his age) boy, that all of the other kids at the park would run from, in fear. He seemed frustrated and I remember sitting before him, crying and begging him to say the word "no". That was the word that I heard all the other mothers complain about, and I would have given my life to hear him say it. To have some sort of confirmation that things were okay, but they weren't.
Throughout this time, he had had 4 ear infections (each about 3 months apart) that, at the time, we believed had been treated and cured. Though, when he was about two and a half, we realized that these ear infections had never really healed, the medication did nothing, and this little boy had been sitting with fluid stuck in his ears for possibly over a year affecting everything from speech to balance. He friends had tubes put in his ears, allowing him to hear clearly for the first time.
Since then, things have gotten so much better. He talks non-stop, plays with other kids and is one of the happiest children I have ever known. He still has times of trouble, still HATES water, struggles with some sensory issues, has hearing loss and sometimes needs a little extra attention, but overall, he is good.
My whole reason for writing this is to tell you a little more about my beautiful boy and to beg you not to judge other parents or their children, when it comes to behavioral issues you see out in public. You never know what sort of struggles that are going on in the background and your comments have the ability to build them up or break them down. You could send them home in tears and cause unnecessary pain and damage.
Therefore, I urge you to use your words kindly and thoughtfully. One of the most uplifting moments I have had as a parent, was when a stranger complimented me following a particularly difficult haircut. You see, since Noah has had doctors constantly digging in his ears for as long as he is aware of, he has major issues with anyone being near his ears, especially during his hair cut. This particular time, he had to sit on my lap and be held down by four other stylists while a fifth stylist cut his hair. He was terrified, foaming at the mouth, and beginning to dry heave. I did all I could do to reassure him that things were okay and remained completely calm, so he wouldn't get even more upset. This was actually the normal routine for haircuts, except this time a mom came up to me afterwards and told me how amazingly I handled myself. Then the rest of the parents at the salon nodded or vocally agreed and actually applauded me as we left (and not because we were leaving!). I will never forget how those strangers made me feel and thank God often for giving me that moment.
My whole reason for writing this is to tell you a little more about my beautiful boy and to beg you not to judge other parents or their children, when it comes to behavioral issues you see out in public. You never know what sort of struggles that are going on in the background and your comments have the ability to build them up or break them down. You could send them home in tears and cause unnecessary pain.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Ms. Keller, PSY and Noah
Often, in our house, our preferred form of vocal exchange is singing. We find it an offbeat, jovial way of communicating with one another that makes the mundane activities in life a little more exciting. Our original songs are much like you would see in any musical, although we do love to pay homage to the boy bands of our younger years. The only real difference between your average musical/boy band and our vocal renderings, is simply, that we lack vocal talent.
In the few past years, we have discussed who our vocal talents are most similar to. They are:
PSY
In the few past years, we have discussed who our vocal talents are most similar to. They are:
Helen Keller
Tim has told me, on more than one occasion, that I should, "try to sound a little more like Helen Keller," when I sing. Though not known for her vocal abilities, he feels she could carry a note better than myself. Some wives would bristle at this statement, but I have heard myself sing and, trust me, the only one that has cause to take offense, is Helen. While, in my head, I sound like a soulful Nora Jones, what comes out is more akin to a laryngitic Kermit the Frog.
(Just for the record, I am not a fan of Helen Keller jokes, and would say it is "too soon", but my husband does not share my opinion and thus, she became my closest, famous vocal likeness.)
(Just for the record, I am not a fan of Helen Keller jokes, and would say it is "too soon", but my husband does not share my opinion and thus, she became my closest, famous vocal likeness.)
PSY
If jokes about Ms. Keller are fair game, than PSY is a more than legitimate target. There are obvious external similarities that make them a good match, but the fact that Tim will never really need to memorize more than, "Eh- sexy lady", is what is most important. Lyrics are simply troubling and frustrating for him, which in turn, brings about more voice cracking than a junior high pep rally. Though Tim believes these voice cracks sound similar to a Justin Timberlake or Robin Thicke falsetto, I am sure most eardrums would disagree.
Which brings us to Noah. One can only wonder what sort of vocal talents he will have in the future. As much as he is genetically predisposed to being less than stellar, his discernment is quite notable. He never fails to tell us, as soon as we start singing, "STOP!" or "YOU TOO LOUD!". Also, I can't count the number of times he has run from the room, hands over his ears yelling, "You hurting my EARS!". Though the DNA is not in his favor, I find all of this to be a positive sign.
For his sake (and the sake of eardrums everywhere), lets hope that the whole really IS greater than the sum of its parts and this is not, "a dream in time gone by.".
Which brings us to Noah. One can only wonder what sort of vocal talents he will have in the future. As much as he is genetically predisposed to being less than stellar, his discernment is quite notable. He never fails to tell us, as soon as we start singing, "STOP!" or "YOU TOO LOUD!". Also, I can't count the number of times he has run from the room, hands over his ears yelling, "You hurting my EARS!". Though the DNA is not in his favor, I find all of this to be a positive sign.
For his sake (and the sake of eardrums everywhere), lets hope that the whole really IS greater than the sum of its parts and this is not, "a dream in time gone by.".
Thursday, March 21, 2013
"That's what." -Tim
Tim talks. A lot. And, sometimes, he will verbalize what might be wisest to keep repressed. These are some of his most outstanding quotes:
"I'm ravishing!" (He thought he was saying he was famished)
"If I need to proof-read my posts, then you need to proof-think yours."
"It's NOT spelled volumptuous?!?" (Voluptuous does not contain the word 'lump'. Tim's mind was blown that day)
"So, he's Ginerian?" (meaning to say Nigerian)
"Do I need a passport to go to New Mexico?"
"You're pretty, but people are weird looking."
"Don't worry about it, bigger girls are becoming really popular these days." (claims he meant big, as in tall)
"I found the toaster strudel frosting." (It was a friends frozen breast milk)
Oh, the fun we have around here. In all seriousness, even though he can say crazy things that make me laugh until I cry, nothing will ever bring me as much joy as when he said "I do.".
That said, I plan on posting many more Tim quotes.
Enjoy!
"I'm ravishing!" (He thought he was saying he was famished)
"If I need to proof-read my posts, then you need to proof-think yours."
"It's NOT spelled volumptuous?!?" (Voluptuous does not contain the word 'lump'. Tim's mind was blown that day)
"So, he's Ginerian?" (meaning to say Nigerian)
"Do I need a passport to go to New Mexico?"
"You're pretty, but people are weird looking."
"Don't worry about it, bigger girls are becoming really popular these days." (claims he meant big, as in tall)
"I found the toaster strudel frosting." (It was a friends frozen breast milk)
Oh, the fun we have around here. In all seriousness, even though he can say crazy things that make me laugh until I cry, nothing will ever bring me as much joy as when he said "I do.".
That said, I plan on posting many more Tim quotes.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Yellow Don't Mellow
I am pale, very pale. My complexion is really just shy of transparent, which can be a bit troublesome at times. For instance, if I go for a jog, my face gradually settles into a lovely shade of purple that has made more than a few passersby inquire about my well being. It is actually a hue quite similar to that showcased on Violet Beauregarde in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", as she is in the unfortunate process of becoming a blueberry. Though blueberries are delicious, I am going to continue under the assumption that nobody really wants to look like one.
My awareness of the lack of color in my ghostly epidermis, has only been heightened by the fact that "Yellow Don't Mellow". (It is important to note, that this was a phrase Tim coined in reference to his own Asian skin tone/quality and I am not trying to overstep my Scandinavian ethnicity.) At first, this whole moniker never really bothered me. It didn't bother me when Tim and I went to see an R-rated movie and he got carded, while I was told "That's ok ma'am. We don't need to see your ID.". Nor, did it bother me the countless times that people have asked what country I adopted Noah from, since the resemblance is less than obvious.
What DOES bother me, though, is when my skin reaches the middle of winter, Minnesota March pale. It is the palest of pale and is only intensified by my already fair skin. A few weeks ago, I actually did a double take while walking past a store window, concerned for the dreadful looking girl behind me. But, no, it was just my reflection. I figured I had a few options.
-Go on vacation-
Economically this was not a viable option, considering the farthest south I could responsibly afford right now would be Rochester. Not exactly sunshine capital of the world.
-Go Tanning-
Fake baking is popular for a reason, but I don't think I could spend another minute in one of those booths after all the hours I logged in high school, pretending I could tan.
-Spray Tan-
Does anyone remember the episode of Friends, where Ross tried this? So... no.
-Self Applied Tanning Lotion-
I highlighted my own hair in high school. I looked like a blonde zebra. So, I don't think trying to apply lotion evenly enough to give me that "streak free" look is going to work.
Since there seemed to be no desirable solution, I decided it was time to embrace myself and come up with my own uplifting phrase:
"Pale Don't Fail"
And it's true! Pale does NOT fail! Every time I burn, trying to tan, you know what color my skin goes back to? Pale. Every time I go to buy make up, you know what color I buy? Pale. Every time I get sick, what is the first thing people say? "Oh, you look so pale!". Every time I am not sick, but people think I am, what do they say made them think that? "It was because you looked so pale".
Therefore, I will shine on and be a beacon for others, in a show of solidarity!
(Not that there were really any other options...)
My awareness of the lack of color in my ghostly epidermis, has only been heightened by the fact that "Yellow Don't Mellow". (It is important to note, that this was a phrase Tim coined in reference to his own Asian skin tone/quality and I am not trying to overstep my Scandinavian ethnicity.) At first, this whole moniker never really bothered me. It didn't bother me when Tim and I went to see an R-rated movie and he got carded, while I was told "That's ok ma'am. We don't need to see your ID.". Nor, did it bother me the countless times that people have asked what country I adopted Noah from, since the resemblance is less than obvious.
What DOES bother me, though, is when my skin reaches the middle of winter, Minnesota March pale. It is the palest of pale and is only intensified by my already fair skin. A few weeks ago, I actually did a double take while walking past a store window, concerned for the dreadful looking girl behind me. But, no, it was just my reflection. I figured I had a few options.
-Go on vacation-
Economically this was not a viable option, considering the farthest south I could responsibly afford right now would be Rochester. Not exactly sunshine capital of the world.
-Go Tanning-
Fake baking is popular for a reason, but I don't think I could spend another minute in one of those booths after all the hours I logged in high school, pretending I could tan.
-Spray Tan-
Does anyone remember the episode of Friends, where Ross tried this? So... no.
-Self Applied Tanning Lotion-
I highlighted my own hair in high school. I looked like a blonde zebra. So, I don't think trying to apply lotion evenly enough to give me that "streak free" look is going to work.
Since there seemed to be no desirable solution, I decided it was time to embrace myself and come up with my own uplifting phrase:
"Pale Don't Fail"
And it's true! Pale does NOT fail! Every time I burn, trying to tan, you know what color my skin goes back to? Pale. Every time I go to buy make up, you know what color I buy? Pale. Every time I get sick, what is the first thing people say? "Oh, you look so pale!". Every time I am not sick, but people think I am, what do they say made them think that? "It was because you looked so pale".
Therefore, I will shine on and be a beacon for others, in a show of solidarity!
(Not that there were really any other options...)
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The Most Wonderful Place on Earth: Target
If you ask my son, on any given day, where he would like to go, his answer, most assuredly, would be Target. He has an inexplicable love for the megastore. It's pretty much his own personal "Cheers", where everybody knows his name. Or at least his face.
From what I have observed, he views our time there as a sort of "social hour" or "meet and greet". As of late, I have begun to notice trends within his interactions, which I have grouped into three separate categories.
1. The Store Manager-
When walking by one of the dapperly clad red-and-khaki employees, Noah never fails to give them that extra bit of encouragement. He is never too busy or rushed to ask "What are you doing?" or "What's your name?" while patting their back, if possible. No matter their response, he pronounces "GOOD JOB!", with a grandiosity that could only come from Tim's gene pool. He concludes with a "High five?", while in my head I try very hard to not repeat the phrase with a Borat style inflection.
2. The Mom Swapper-
Sometimes, even for kids, the grass is greener on the other side. Most recently, Noah noticed a "greener" mom in the Pokemon section of the toy aisle. She was an articulation genius, pronouncing names like Makuhita or Pachirisu, like a boss. Noah asked me to say the same names and I put forth my best effort, but Porky Pig could have gotten out the words quicker. After a few attempts, I looked to my son and saw that he was already trying to hold her hand and saying to her, "Who this, Mama?". So much for loyalty.
3. The Pick-Up Artist-
Noah: Hi!
Female: Hi! (Giggle, giggle)
N: I Noah.
Female: Hi Noah! (Bat eyelashes, giggle)
N: You pretty. (Takes females hand)
And they begin to walk away. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, during your next trip to Target, if a little boy comes up to you and one of these scenarios seems eerily familiar, say hi. It's probably Noah and I on our daily, three hour long (cause it takes that long when your son has to talk to no less than 8 people each trip) excursion to Target.
"Th- Th- Th- Th- Th... That's all folks!"
From what I have observed, he views our time there as a sort of "social hour" or "meet and greet". As of late, I have begun to notice trends within his interactions, which I have grouped into three separate categories.
1. The Store Manager-
When walking by one of the dapperly clad red-and-khaki employees, Noah never fails to give them that extra bit of encouragement. He is never too busy or rushed to ask "What are you doing?" or "What's your name?" while patting their back, if possible. No matter their response, he pronounces "GOOD JOB!", with a grandiosity that could only come from Tim's gene pool. He concludes with a "High five?", while in my head I try very hard to not repeat the phrase with a Borat style inflection.
2. The Mom Swapper-
Sometimes, even for kids, the grass is greener on the other side. Most recently, Noah noticed a "greener" mom in the Pokemon section of the toy aisle. She was an articulation genius, pronouncing names like Makuhita or Pachirisu, like a boss. Noah asked me to say the same names and I put forth my best effort, but Porky Pig could have gotten out the words quicker. After a few attempts, I looked to my son and saw that he was already trying to hold her hand and saying to her, "Who this, Mama?". So much for loyalty.
3. The Pick-Up Artist-
Noah: Hi!
Female: Hi! (Giggle, giggle)
N: I Noah.
Female: Hi Noah! (Bat eyelashes, giggle)
N: You pretty. (Takes females hand)
And they begin to walk away. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, during your next trip to Target, if a little boy comes up to you and one of these scenarios seems eerily familiar, say hi. It's probably Noah and I on our daily, three hour long (cause it takes that long when your son has to talk to no less than 8 people each trip) excursion to Target.
"Th- Th- Th- Th- Th... That's all folks!"
Saturday, March 9, 2013
It takes a village...
In case anyone happens upon this blog and needs reference as to who the main "characters" are, I would like to provide the following guide:
a) Me- (aka Melissa, Mel, Wife, Mom) The introvert of the family. Likes to write, read, and play games, although her favorite pastime would be napping. Has the ability to write in a witty manner and appear clever on paper, yet is a tad bit awkward in real life. Not self deprecating at all.
b) Tim- (aka Timothy, Husband, Daddy) The extrovert with random episodes of introversion, which, historically, have occurred more frequently amongst the in-laws. Has said the three things he is best at are, "sleeping, eating and making friends." Extreme sports fan who loves to have a good time and be as social as possible.
c) Noah- (aka Son, the 3-year-old, the boy, Demolition Expert) The full on extrovert. Has ongoing energy and requires very little sleep. Loves to wrestle, tackle and run into people. Loves to eat ketchup, ranch dressing, butter and hummus, luckily not all at the same time. Loves to hug and kiss. A lot. Has the best smile. Ever.
As for the rest of the cast (grandparents, relatives, friends), though no less important, they will be introduced upon first appearance.
Let the fun begin!
a) Me- (aka Melissa, Mel, Wife, Mom) The introvert of the family. Likes to write, read, and play games, although her favorite pastime would be napping. Has the ability to write in a witty manner and appear clever on paper, yet is a tad bit awkward in real life. Not self deprecating at all.
b) Tim- (aka Timothy, Husband, Daddy) The extrovert with random episodes of introversion, which, historically, have occurred more frequently amongst the in-laws. Has said the three things he is best at are, "sleeping, eating and making friends." Extreme sports fan who loves to have a good time and be as social as possible.
c) Noah- (aka Son, the 3-year-old, the boy, Demolition Expert) The full on extrovert. Has ongoing energy and requires very little sleep. Loves to wrestle, tackle and run into people. Loves to eat ketchup, ranch dressing, butter and hummus, luckily not all at the same time. Loves to hug and kiss. A lot. Has the best smile. Ever.
As for the rest of the cast (grandparents, relatives, friends), though no less important, they will be introduced upon first appearance.
Let the fun begin!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)